Blathering On
by Hurricane Shirnen
Summary: ...Yeah. It's a birthday present for my mom, so... it's a bit... different. XDRated for language.


Me: Nya! Yeah, Animal Crossing. I wrote this for my mom's birthday, so. Deal with it if you don't like it, random fans; I don't care what you think. XD

Blathers: Quite.

Yuan: ...

Martel: I'm a tree. ;3

Me: ...ANYWAY, have fun reading this story... Which I have entitled:

Blathering On

----

There once was an owl named Blathers who owned everything in the world...

Bugs, fish, legendary fossils, antique paintings... He had it all.

He loved to simply sleep in the sun in his precious museum, awaiting the dusk of a new night when people would bring him more treasures to put on display. People sometimes brought him fossils that were unidentified; he stroked these fossils lovingly, knowing that one day they would be within his grasp.

The fish, wriggling around their tanks, always glanced at him nervously when he came in, wondering which one of them would be subjected to the 'Blathers Cuddle Fest'.

The bugs didn't have to worry about experiencing that treatment, seeing as how Blathers was still disgusted by touching them. But still he watched them, peering into the room at night, careful to avoid crushing his prized cockroach or frightening away his beloved bee.

And the paintings! Most of them were counterfeits, yes, but they were still **his** counterfeits, and that's all that mattered to him..

But one day, all of this happiness would come to a close.

One day.

One day... six months after this story.

Well, today, actually, since I'm bored of just writing without a plot.

Yeah. Pretty much.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

One night, after awakening from a good afternoon's sleep, Blathers decided to go on his daily rounds a bit late.

So he walked into the fossil room, screamed, and fainted.

Then he woke up, looked into the room, screamed again, and fainted.

The first time was just 'cuz. The second time, though, had a reason.

All the dinosaurs were missing bodies and tails and stuff!

The heads remained, and the three extra fossils that everyone loves to hate were there, but the bodies and tails were nowhere to be seen! Well, they were, but not in the museum. They were obviously SOMEWHERE to be seen, just not where Blathers could.

When Blathers awoke, he realized that he had not, in fact, been dreaming, that he was asleep on the floor, and that he had only been out for 13 seconds. So he left the museum and went to Acre K-11, to talk to the police.

He entered the station, and was shocked to see that neither of the dogs was present.

So he went to find the mayor.

He wasn't there.

Nook.

He wasn't there.

The Able sisters.

Weren't there.

Porter... might have been there, but Blathers was so against checking for the monkey that he never even entered the right acre.

Blathers sighed and gave up, knowing that he would never see his precious fossils again...

But then an idea struck him. Why not check the beach?

And sure enough, when he got there, Admiral and Copper were standing there and chatting. So Blathers ran up to them.

The green bird turned to the owl and gasped. "B-Blathers? You bastard, you weren't supposed to come to the beach, aye-aye! You'll ruin me and Copper's whole operation, aye-aye! Time for you to die, aye-aye! Also, can you get my calculator back from Jeremiah?"

Admiral unsheathed an immense broadsword and swung it at Blathers. It passed right through him, since nothing actually affects these animals, but Blathers knew he was unwanted.

But what had Admiral meant by 'Operation, aye-aye'?

And HOW was he supposed to get the calculator from Jeremiah when Jeremiah was in a different town!

No one knew for sure.

So he went back to his museum to look for clues.

Entering the fossil room, he was shocked to realize that there was a silken handkerchief laying on the Plesiosaurus skull! This was a shocking shocker that shocked him to no end!

He picked it up and smelled it... And was shocked again.

It smelled just like Tangy. But why would Tangy steal his fossils?

So Blathers went to acre A-6 to talk to Tangy.

He knocked on the door. Knocked once. Knocked twice. Knocked three times.

The door was opened on the first knock, but Blathers wasn't one to let something like that go. But then he entered the humble abode of the citrusy kitty, and sat down.

"Miss Tangy," he said, "Were you, perhaps, in the museum while I was asleep earlier today...? Because... Well... YOU'RE A DIRTY ROTTEN BONE THIEF!"

He pulled out a stick and clobbered Tangy with it. She fell right to the ground before even having a chance to say 'Ma-HOO', which was the fad in the village at the time.

Blathers stood in shock for a moment. (He's a VERY shockable owl.) He stared down at the cat, laying unconcious on the floor, and realized that something had to be done.

So he tied her up and threw her into her Ranch Cabinet. Good job there, eh?

And then he left, knowing that he would have a hard time without any leads, and that the author has a hard time writing out of script format. x.X

But then he realized something.

Something incredibly important.

Crazy Redd was in town tonight, and he commonly stole things.

So the owl went to see Redd.

When he got there, though, he saw a horrible sight.

His tent was on fire. And Admiral was dancing around the flames, aye-ayeing like a madman.

So Blathers headed back to the museum, trying to figure out what to do. He could ask the townspeople to redonate the fossils, but then he would never get his originals back. He could ask the townspeople to steal fossils from other museums, but those were all his museums too.

So he sat.

And waited...

And then morning came, so he ate a chocolate biscuit and went to sleep.

During the day, a mysterious man came in and left a note on the floor. Blathers awakened just as he left, and spotted the note on the floor.

The note read:

"Blathers, you dumbass, you never HAD those fossils!"

Blathers was shocked.

---

Admiral, however, was not shocked. He was continuing onwards with part 131 of his plan, and was burning down Nookington's. Only the top floor was gone, and the bottom floor was made out of a marvelous magical fireproof substance. Steel, or some shit like that.

Admiral realized that steel was burnable if you froze it, so he used his ultimate freeze breath to do so.

But he accidentally froze himself.

And not Nookington's.

But then Blathers came by and thawed Admiral, who promptly exploded. The explosion eliminated everything within a 700 mile radius.

But, in the fire, one thing remained.

The one thing that could survive ANYTHING.

"Heh heh heh heh HOORF..."

The end.

Happy birthday, Mommy!1111111 lolol

Sorry for the shortness, but I can't think of anything else. Sorry. TTTTTT

Happy birthday anyway, Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy!1 lol


End file.
